Allow me to explain.

Illustration for article titled I’ve been butt f**k’d by a penguin

We played Monopoly for family game night. Because it’s not as interesting with just three players, we let two stuffties play. Well, Hugz slaughtered us all. He was the first to develop and he had Boardwalk and Park Place. I put up a valiant fight, but the dice were not with me.

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