It was a rough day at work, and I needed a coffee badly. So I drive down the street and stop at a gas station with a self-serve Tim Hortons in it. (this, back when I still visited Timmy’s, but I digress.)

I parked on the side of the building, facing the building, and worth mentioning was the fairly extreme grade of this side of the parking lot. So I was facing up hill, to paint the picture in your mind.

I go in, get my large coffee, lotsa cream and sugar and a twix because two for me none for you. Then I return to the car and attempt to enter it.

Did I mention that 30 years of use had largely worn out my door stops? Well, it had.

So, as I’m about to lower myself into the car, coffee in hand, the door swings towards me, knocking my full coffee from my hand, directly onto the drivers floorboard.

Fuck. I really wanted to drink that, and being summertime I immediately thought “gee, that is gonna end up smelling nice”


So I go back inside, grab a bunch of paper towel from the roll at the self serve tims, pour another large coffee, lotsa cream and sugar, and head back outside to clean up, which I did.

Did I mention that the Germans felt, at the time of manufacture, drivers should focus on driving and not drinking? So, no cup holders in that beauty. There was, however, a nice flat carpeted surface under the center armrest where one might stow their beverage of choice. This was usually an acceptable option presuming one wasn’t driving like an idiot... Or, as it would happen, backing out of an extremely steep parking space.

Yeah. As soon as I tapped the brakes, onto the rear floorboards the full coffee went.


Slammed it into drive, back into the spot. Stormed back into the gas station, took the entire roll of paper towels from the spindle and walked out.

Then I threw my twix at the side of the building. Being a block wall, no one noticed.

Never did get that cup of coffee that afternoon.

That was the worst, but it wasn’t the only one.

Runner up would include the following: Taking a break, sitting in the car, forgetting I had put the key in the ignition to activate the cigarette lighter outlet, getting out and locking the doors, returning to work, working late, returning to the car, realizing the keys were in the ignition, realizing my phone was dead, bro-kicking out the rear passenger side window out of frustration and necessity, finding the battery was completely flat anyway so I couldn’t even start it, and finally getting a passerby to give me a jump.


My bad, on all counts, but damn. Good thing every day isn't as rough