My Jag’s door handle linkage went bad. I had an aftermarket part, I took the door apart, I installed it, the door locks still didn’t work properly, so the door would open from the inside, but the alarm would go off. I ordered a second aftermarket part. It also didn’t work. While testing it and trying to figure out why there was too much slack and the actuator wasn’t triggering, the interior handle broke. Then I got stuck in my car and couldn’t open the door, because I had the door panel off and couldn’t roll down the window. Then I called a neighbor and asked to be rescued from my car.

On its own, I could replace the handle, because it literally just slots into the door, but then I’ll still have a linkage and actuator that refuse to work because I haven’t satisfied their desire for a virgin blood sacrifice

Now I have to go to my indy Jag mechanic, who is booked solid for two weeks, for my appointment to have the transmission fluid changed and explain that the door is broken and beg him to fix it. Judging from OEM part costs and the time I assume it will take to fix it, I’m going to ballpark the repairs at $600, or roughly 1/4 of the cars’ resale value. Which will be on top of the transmission fluid and oil changes, and means I’m going to push off replacing the rear suspension even longer.

Right now the only saving grace is that I put the original linkage back in, so I can be like “durr lock no work then handle broke I definitely not break try fix by self.”

I imagine that this is what being a parent feels like—investing so much time, energy, and money into something that consistently lets you down and disappoints you, but you like it too much to list it on Craigslist and try to recoup some of your losses.