Welcome back to another “If Cars were” session! This time, Classic Video Game Characters. In case you missed the last couple, I’ve recently detailed what I think 5 of my favorite cars would be if they were aircraft/spacecraft, and if they were bugs. Being a huge video game nerd, I couldn’t help but think about what those same 5 cars would be if they were classic video game characters.
Annnd here we go….
The Autozam AZ-1.
This little guy was just featured on Motorweek Theater. A plucky little traffic weaver, it’s able to float through congested areas, and duck and dodge the slings and arrows of your daily commute. Due to its ingenious gull wing doors, it’s able to hold larger 6 footers inside with surprising ease. Match that up with its round eyes and happy to see you demeanor and I think you may already know which video game character that comes to mind.
If the pink AZ-1 (taken from a video game screen shot no less) didn’t already give it away, it’s Kerby!
Able to drift and doge? Yup. Capable of stuffing large objects into it that you didn’t think would fit (keep your mind out of the gutter people!), yup! Kuddly and happy to see you? For sure!
Moving on to the Toyotaru twins.
Designed in the shadow of Mount Fuji, these intrepid adventures are able to tackle the twisties using their low center of gravity to hurl themselves up switchbacks with aplomb. A collaborative effort used to achieve greatness!
This effort reminds me of the teamwork and collaboration used by none other than the Ice Climbers.
This dynamic duo works together to break the ice below and take out their common enemy (in the case of the ice climbers, it is Seal’s, Yeti’s, and Polar Bear’s). To be successful the players must work together and coordinate their attacks. Not unlike how Subaru and Toyota teamed up to take out their common enemy (specifically the idea that a rear-drive sports coupe would not be embraced by the motoring public).
Now onto the Focus ST.
The ST is one of my favorite Hot Hatches; great for the rigors of the urban sprawl. It sports an active traction control system that customizes and tailors itself to user inputs, driving conditions, and the environment at large. Give its ability to customize itself, as well as the multitude of other tech crammed in this bad boy, I really have to give the nod to one of my boy-hood gaming heros…
Able to customize itself after each victory, full of the latest tech, and able to dash and climb around the robo-metropolis with ease; yes, I feel Mega Man is the best video game representation of the Focus ST.
Onto my daily; The GenII Mazdaspeed3
When it’s sporting all black, its narrowed eyes and (somewhat) hidden smile do little to hide the uncompromising nature of this car. With a healthy lateral G, it can leap through parking garages and urban decay almost as well as the ST. However, without the customizability of the superlative active traction control in the ST, it relies on more traditional tech to get the job done. The Speed3 also follows a distinguished line of Japanese predecessors that Mazda has been kind enough to grace us with.
With this in mind I’m left to think that Ryu Hayabusa would be the Speed3’s video game equivalent.
A decedent of a line of deadly Japanese Ninja warriors, the original Ninja Gaiden took place in the United States. For a good amount of time, the Speed3 was one of the few “raw” Hot Hatches available in North America. Hayabusa-sama also relies on athletic prowess and traditional ninja weaponry to dispatch his enemies. Not unlike the Speed3’s dogged adherence to a limited-slip differential as a means of keeping (or trying to keep) the Speed3’s power in check. I think the raw lethality of the leader of the Dragon Clan is a good match for the Speed3.
Finally we reach the NA Miata
One of the most popular roadsters of all time, it holds an iconic place in the hearts and minds of most motoring enthusiasts. It’s light, it’s peppy, and it likes to keep on moving despite the corners thrown in its way. In short, this car wants to keep on going and lives off momentum.
This being the case, I can think of no better classic video game character to represent our beloved NA Miata than Sonic the Hedgehog.
A snarky speed demon that needs to keep on moving; if you are unfortunate enough to get stopped, it’ll eat up precious time to get Sonic moving again. But keep his feet moving, and he buzzes his way through levels with screen splitting speed. I think that it’s also very fitting that there was a checkered flag at the end of each stage.
So there is my list of some of my favorite cars and what I think their classic video game equivalents would be. Agree? Disagree? Have combinations of your own that you'd like to propose? Leave them in the comments!
Want to burn me at the stake for blasphemous remarks and general stupidity, leave that in the comments as well, but keep it civil, personal attack comments get dismissed. Remember, this is just a list and a personal opinion.
I think this will be the last time I use these particular 5 cars for a "If Cars Were" post. If anyone has any suggestions for another 5 cars that would make for a good "If Cars Were" post, let me know!