Oh man what a week. First thing is first...

My wife is here with me in the MURICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh man what a series of events. All so I can just hug my wife in our home.

Long story short (it truly is as short as I can put it), everything started around a year ago when I filed a petition for my wife to get her permanent residency in the Murica "green card". I hired a lawyer to get the initial paperwork started which cost a little over a grand. Once approved, we then had to take down a mountain of paperwork to turn into USCIS. All translated and notarized in Mexico and here. All this also costing a pretty penny and more time. Months passed and finally everything was approved..... only to start all over again but now with the National Visa Center. I had to fill out their Financial Support form along with the infamous DS-260 online. Both were another $500+. After many many months of waiting, there was an error on a form which was utter BS! Once the form got resubmitted, I was put in back of the line to wait even more. Finally after 10 very difficult months, I got the news that everything is approved and ready to head to the final step at the US Embassy in Juarez Ch, Mexico. We were literally screaming in joy. A month later, I am off!!


Me and my dad take off from Houston to Juarez MX. Just passed San Antonio, we ran into a very rare thing in Texas...


ICE!!!!!! It was 100% trial by fire driving lesson for me, my Benzo, and the frozen road. I stopped for fuel in San Antonio near UTSA to fill up the car before hand.



My 2002 Mercedes-Benz E-320 with 157k on the ticker got from San Antonio to the Zaragosa International bridge in El Paso. A distance of 500+ miles on one tank. The car (a heavy, not aero dynamic, 3.2L V6 DOHC) marked an avg. of 31.6 MPG. Compare this to the much newer 2015 Hyundai Sonata 4 cyl in ECO mode I rented to go back home. That car only avg. 28.7 MPG and 430 miles to a tank under very similar conditions.

Anyways, back to the journey to Juarez. The highway was frozen. Passing over bridges was hella scary. Good thing for ESP on the car helping keep me straight. I was OPPOing like a mofo on longer bridges. I stopped at gas station to get some coffee and washer fluid.


We kept on chuggin through the night until we reached a huge hill in the middle of the desert. Up top there was a rest area full of 18 wheelers and a police blockade. Already going just 2-3 mph, I tried to slow down for the upcoming road block.... I couldn't stop. I turned the wheel.. nope! It was going to be in the world's slowest car crash into a trooper. I caught the drunk bumps and stopped before doing so :]


They told us it was worse up ahead and that we can continue if we choose to. He was just spacing us out a bit. We continued onward. Then, we kept seeing truck after truck upside down or flipped on their side on the side of the road. It was now 2am and I found a group of trucks pulled over. I found a spot in between and we slept in the car until sunrise. In the morning, more traffic was flowing and we continued. A little pass the I-20 / I-10 interchange the clouds cleared and the temperature rose quickly. I began to haulazz because I had to pick up my wife and father in law at the Juarez airport at 2PM. The W210 is such a smooth driving highway cruiser. Enough so that a state trooper on the other side crossed the median and turned its lights on. I look at the speedometer... 96 MPH in a 75 lol!!!! Whoops. He got some info and checked my record. He said, "try to keep it under 75 and once into El Paso it will drop to 65. Your record is clean and the road was empty. Just slow it down and sign here saying that I gave you a warning" Yes Sir!!

I finally stopped for fuel before crossing over, picking up my wife at the airport, then going to our hotel. Our date with the consulate was Tuesday at 8:45 AM. We stayed at the Conquistador Inn. An awesome hotel in the general vicinity of the consulate.


Juarez is waaaaaaay better than it was just 10 years ago. A lot of security and no more dangerous now than any major US city. Hand to heart. My cousin was a USBP agent paroling this area and I've seen and heard some things about Juarez. It is such a better place than it was in the not so distant past. This hotel was great and even offered Consulate service help downstairs and free rides to any of the Visa/Resident resources.

We went on a quick tour and went to a local museum. I saw a big ass head :]


Also, a giraffe made of used tires

one of Juan Gabriel's houses


Also the Casa de Adobe. The green sign shows where Mexico ends and New Mexico/Texas starts. The white marker shows the 3 way point I believe.


We also killed some time at a Liverpool department store where we saw this..



Back at the hotel late Sunday, we decided to stop at the consulate service area in our hotel to ask a few question since Monday morning my wife had an appointment for her medical exam (required before interview). The lady there asked when our appointment was, what time her medical exam was, and asked if she got her digital finger prints done.. WHAT??? What digital finger prints??? Turns out we had to schedule an appointment for digital finger prints forever ago. Nobody is allowed into their interview without that done and scheduling an appointment can take days. The lady advised us to go to the finger print place right after the medical exam Monday (which took 4 hours and cost $512) and beg the guard to let her in without an appointment. So that is what we did. The guards couldn't say no to that beautiful face :] They asked us to come back at the butt crack of dawn before the interview on Tuesday. Tuesday arrives and my wife gets her prints done. We haulazz to the waiting area til they call her into the embassy. After an hour delay, she goes in and I start praying.

She tells me that they did NOT approve her application because some papers were missing. We haulazz to the hotel's consulate service office. On the way, I call my dad and father in law to meet us in that service office. Once we all are there, my wife pulls out a green sheet of paper and says PSYCH!!! IT WAS APPROVED!!! LOLZ!!! OMGZ!!!!! YESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!


Unfortunately, the completed paperwork wasn't going to arrive til Thursday afternoon. The paperwork has to be paid and presented at the border station (another $280 plus 2 more hotel days) My dad and father in law took the Benz back to Houston on Tuesday and left us there at the hotel. On Wednesday afternoon, we were bored and decided to see the pool. The water was clean and the sun was warm. But, it was barely 50F with a very cool breeze. We got our swimming gear on, went to the pool and I jumped into the deep end. IT WAS LIKE AN ICE CHEST AARRRGGHHH!!! Omg I went into panic/survival mode as my wife was dying in laughter. It was the worst thing ever! I dried myself off and put my shirt on. Soon after I had a pain from my tummy near my belly button. A bee was caught under my shirt was was stabbing me like a mofo. Double Whammy of PAIN!

Lol that next Thursday, we got our packet and took a taxi to the border. The taxi (a 2004 Chevy Cavalier) crossed the border and waited for us on the other side. She turned in her packet to the agent. After reviewing everything and stamping it, he told her that she is now a legal US resident of Murica! She still can't vote, buy property in Mexico within 5 years/live there, or ask for any government assistance in 5 years. We crossed over and the taxi took us to the El Paso airport to rent a car. Soon after I got the Sonata, we took off to Houston at 8 PM. 2 hours out from El Paso on I-10... everything was frozen again :( We stayed at a Super 8 in Van Horn, TX and took off to Houston the next morning. By Friday afternoon, we reached Houston and by that evening, we were in our new home together :] I took a couple extra days from work and came back in today.

So that was my adventure. After almost a year of headaches, tears, and about $3500 in legal BS, it all came to a crazy 5 days. Now she is here in our new home. For a chubby, not too attractive, automotive technician/parts clerk making $12 an hour, it always seemed like a new home, 2 rad old German legend tank cars, and smoking hot wife should of been an impossible feat..... but if your heart is always in the right place and you have enough ganas, anything is possible :]


Thank you all here on LaLD and OPPO that have been my only source of social media. You peeps are the best peeps anywhere!!!! *literally high fives every one of you* :]

PS: For those who see Mexican/Latin American immigrants and say "why don't those damn beaners just cross the border legally?" ... yeah ok, like if it's just so easy huh? We need immigration reform! Punish the bad guys like my cousin did with honor. But at the same time, end the political BS and let these hard working people get the same shot at the American dream the same easy way most other foreigners do.

Long live the UNITED States of MURICA!!!!

God bless Texas!

Viva La LaLD!

OPPO 4 lyfe!

now....commence the GIF DANCE PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!