The husband just wants to watch bowling, but the wife keeps grabbing him and saying stuff like “talk to our new friends. You’re rude.”

“Tell them about the first time you saw me?”

“What?”

You’re not paying attention to us.”

“I like bowling. It’s a game. They used to have it on The Wide World of Sports, but it’s not a sport. It’s a game. It’s fun. I like fun things.”

“Tell them about the first time you saw me.”

“What about it?”

“You thought I was pretty. But...”

“But what?”

“When you first saw me you thought I was pretty but.”

“But I thought you were too young.”

“He thought I was pretty, but he thought I was too young.”

“I like bowling. It’s a game. It’s fun.”

I want to slip him a note that says “say you’re going to the bathroom. run. I’ll cover for you.”

Advertisement

Edit: “I just want to go upstairs and watch some HGTV”

“Okay. You just go upstairs and I’ll stay here.”

“You don’t want to go up with me?”

“I didn’t say that.”

Edit:

“So you don’t want to go?”

“Well I’m not going to be the one to go.”

“So you’re just going to sit here?”

Bartender, who the woman keeps calling Disney’s Jasmine: “Do you want another drink here?”

Advertisement

Husband: “Yep.”

Wife: “... you don’t care...”

I bet this ends in a murder-suicide. Right here. In this bar.

Edit:

“Go to sleep.”

“I can’t when you’re watching TV in the other room. And when you go to the bathroom light on BAM it goes right in my face.”

Advertisement

“What do you want me to do? Get another room?”

“Pull out the sofa bed and I’ll sleep there then you don’t have to deal with your wife.”

“That light is like a fucking bullet in my head.”

I’m telling you, this is ending in a murder suicide.

“I can’t believe I’m spending my night watching fucking bowling.”