If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

I'm marathonning all 8 Fast & Furious films today, in story order. This is my FAST & FURIOUS open thread.

The Fast and the Furious thread:

2 Fast 2 Furious/Turbo-Charged Prelude thread:

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Los Bandoleros thread:

NOTE: I'm watching these in STORY order, not release order. They go as follows: The Fast and the Furious, Turbo-Charged Prelude, 2 Fast 2 Furious, Los Bandoleros, Fast & Furious, Fast 5, Fast & Furious 6, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

Awww yeah. Time to get a buzz and see a mad jump in film quality. And car crashes. And quantity of famous people.

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OH GOD. Dat land train. Dat GNX. I forgot how hot and heavy this movie comes right from the start. PREPARE YOURSELF FOR MULTIPLE REVERSE GEARS ON THAT TOW TRUCK

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Brief pause for food ordering and new roomie moving and we're BACK IN THE DOM REP. And I hear they're RUNNING OUT OF ROAD

Just...lord, baby jesus, where do they go from here? How is there more movie to be seen here?

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1 quiet scene and then BOOM WINDOW SMASH JUMP ROOF AAAAAAAAHHHHH

SPOILERS: oh shit I forgot Letty dies. But now Mia's back. Only room for 1 hottie on screen at once in this edition of the F&F saga, apparently

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Oh hey, it's our first Asian who's not evil or a horrific stereotype or Han!

Guys, Nitromethane's been used in Nitro dragsters for years, how do we make it sound cooler than it already does? CALL IT NITRO METH. LIKE CRYSTAL METH FOR CARS. THESE BURNS COULD ONLY, ONLY, HAVE BEEN CAUSED BY NITRO METH.

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How much you think Continental tires paid for that name drop? Any guesses?

ALERT: In every F&F movie, if they say they are just a middleman or don't know anything, THEY ALWAYS KNOW. TORTURE THAT MOTHERFUCKER. Seriously, there's a torture scene in every single F&F movie. Usually pretty brutal. Didn't notice that until now. #24 #JackBauer

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Sorry, taking a food break. We are the absolute worst kind of people. #feast #gluttony

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OK we're back, ladies and gents. LET THE FILMS ROLL ON. I think we'll be going here to stop without any more pauses. That's the goal. We have to make it by 10, when guests are coming over for a party. Opponauts in Chicago, you're more than welcome.

Oh wait, my bad. THIS is the guy from Simon Says. You know, he's the guy who is the stoner in that movie and in this movie, greets Paul Walker with the phrase "What up, nutsack?"

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Ah yes, this is the movie where they graduated from Drag and Drift to real cornering. GO BRANDON T. JACKSON. DRIVE THAT E39 M5! MACHT SCHNELL! BITTE!

Paul Walker vs. GPS.

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HE AIN'T LISTEN FOR SHIT

Oh my god! FBI invasion on the filming of a lesbian porn? Just what I wanted! Fast and Furious, how did you know?

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"To the ladies we love, and the ladies we've lost. Salút." Indeed, Braga. Indeed.

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You know this F&F is the best because it has the highest number of lesbians per capita.

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"Are you one of those boys who prefers cars to women?" "I'm one of those boys who appreciates a fine body, regardless of the make." Take me now, Vin Diesel. My body is ready.

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Um, excuse me? Did that Mustang have "Turror" written on the side skirt?

"Only pussies run nitro meth."

Ah, and so it goes between Dominic Toretto and Brian O'Connor, exchanging 10-second cars into infinity.

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Damn. This scene. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5_yK5…

*sigh* nobody EVER waits for O'Connor's signal. And they're always wrong.

YES please cock as many weapons in this abandoned church as possible so we can hear that sweet echo.

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OH SHIT the trophy truck! And damn, Braga is such a great character. Great performance

Death by Camaro. So brutal https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1t867t…

But of course, you have to transport prisoners by bus. Which, of course, means it's BUS HEIST O'CLOCK!
but really, that's that. It's Fast Five o'clock. Bring on Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.

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Fast Five thread here:

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