She writes for me from now on. You missed your chance, Okulski and Kristen. Especially Kristen. You could have saved her. Where’s your money when Jalopnik needed it? You are a fraud, and I am not, for I was able to exercise my might.

I shall now inject $20 million into Jalopnik, with the sole rider being that no one ever gives David Tracy money. I’ll pull funding if I see even ONE of his projects getting completed.