So I just found a problem with my car. The immobilizer is keeping the car from recognizing any of my keys. The battery is brand new and the LEDs on my keys flash when I press the buttons, but nothing happens. The doors won’t unlock, the trunk won’t open, and nothing happens when I put the key in the ignition.

It’s a bone-stock 2004 Accord.

UPDATE: My brand new battery is reading .42 volts. FUCK.

Volvo P1800 for your time.