For playing the sport for almost 20 years, everyone including myself are surprised I don’t care for the Madden video game series. Maybe it’s because I was never good at it. Or because the game is essentially the same every year with different players.

Regardless, I first read this a decade ago. And it still makes me cry with laughter. This guy, Ethan Albright, was rated horribly low on Madden 2007. He’s a longsnapper, so you really do not need decent ratings on speed, catching, tackling, etc.

In retaliation, he writes a strongly (very explicit) worded letter to John Madden himself. Even though John has little to no say on the player’s ratings. Some snippets include the following:


Give it a read for some laughs. Be warned of language and profanity.