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Instructions unclear, made breakfast.

Illustration for article titled Instructions unclear, made breakfast.

So, I was trying to make that one dish where like you’ve got your thicc noodle (in this case, fettuccine), and you cook it, right, then you like put it in a pan at a low heat and like crack an egg over it with fried prosciutto, right, and it’s all silky and savory and whatnot.

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Well... It doesn’t look like when my wife makes it and certainly not how I had it at a restaurant last year. It’s also very dry even when adding the brothy fluids of boilage. I think I didn’t get it out of the pan quickly enough when frying, and didn’t keep it sufficiently moist. I totally fucked up this dish.

Illustration for article titled Instructions unclear, made breakfast.
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Illustration for article titled Instructions unclear, made breakfast.

On the plus side, it kind of tastes like eggs and bacon, which is delicious... for me. I wouldn’t serve this to someone I was trying to impress, though.

The salad has spinach, raspberry walnut dressing, almonds, chopped apple, goat cheese, and dried cranberries. The bread is of a whole wheat baguette.

Ah, well. Better luck next time, ol' chap.

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