As a BMW fanboi, I have a really hard time defending the current line up. Let’s be honest the new X7 and 7 series are fucking caricatures. I have no idea what they were smoking, but it must be some really bad stuff.

The new Z4? Looks like it’s trying to be a fancy Fiata. Nothing wrong with that. There’s just too much going on. Too many little styling cues combined with stupid headlights just don’t make it a coherent design.

X1-5? Not really bad, they just don’t tickle my fancy. The 1 series has a weird face. The 2 series active whatever is an abomination that should be nuked from space.


Ok, the G20 3 series? I don’t know. It’s not as ugly as other current Bimmers, but the idea of mimicking the LCI E46s headlight kink doesn’t sit well with me, and the back is just plain generic.


The G30/31, however is a car I really like. It has the visial presence a 5 series should have without being too shouty or having too many little styling gimmicks.

It’s the only new Bimmer I could see myself trading my beloved E61 in for.


Am I right or should I just go back and yell at a few more clouds?