Here we witness a rare Jalopnik writer (Species: Human. Sub-Species: Mich-eal Ball-a-ban. Gender: Male. Location: New York City), of the male variety. He is doing his mating call, he angles his hands on both sides of the mouth at equal angles. He does a loud groan, than a squeal. If he does the squeal in sequence with the groan just right, females of certain variety will come bearing gifts of shelter & food. After the female variety feeds the food, sadly father studies will be required to find out within the shelter.