"Now in its 26th year, J.D. Power's latest Vehicle Dependability Study found that the top two problems reported by consumers in the study were the lack of Bluetooth connectivity and the misinterpretation of commands by the car's voice recognition system." β€”- Business Insider


Can anyone in God's green Earth tell me what these two issues have to do with vehicle dependability?

What's next? J.D. Power picks the most reliable car colors?

Or maybe... the car world really is doomed to an ever faster whirlwind of survey driven idiocy.

"In other news, FIAT finished dead last in J.D. Power's Vehicle Dependability Study. This was primarily due to their customers mistaking the industry's last cigarette lighter as a finger warmer."


"In other news, sales of the Toyota Camry declined by 87% in Florida during February due to their discontinuing of the colors Hospital Blue and Champagne Gold. These colors were struck off the Camry's palette after J.D. Power found that owners of these car colors were the most likely to die. "

"Mark Fields, CEO of Ford, was overheard mumbling the words, "Those fβ€”β€”ers" upon the release of J.D. Power's Vehicle Dependability Study. This was followed by uncontrollable laughter upon seeing the sales results of the vehicles that made the list."

"As a response to the poor showing of Mercedes-Benz, returning CEO and lifelong playboy Juergen Schrempp has pledged to offer their upcoming voice command system in Welsh, Gaelic, Bostonian, Morse Code, and Semaphore."


And finally,

"In other news, J.D. Power has decided to survey themselves in regards to surveys. The findings? The last J.D. Power survey with any relevance was the Initial Quality Study back in 1988 which focused on quality standards during the first ninety days of ownership. This study was only relevant because Sterling, Peugeot, Yugo, and Mitsubishi were still shucking around new cars with electrical systems made out of Twizzlers."

It's obvious I'm all surveyed out. But how about you? Is there a survey that you think we're going to see in the near future? Perhaps a J.D. Power survey that ranks cars based on the size of their tailpipes? It's all apparently possible in this brave new world of modern day surveys. So feel free to share.