JBL: Crap Audio for Brand Whores

Illustration for article titled JBL: Crap Audio for Brand Whores

Alternate title: More Speakers Doesn’t Mean Better

Seriously, the JBL system in my Mom’s Sienna is possibly the worst sound system I’ve ever heard. The “90's cheap car” system in my Neon was better. All low noises are converted directly into buzzes and thumps wash. This washes out most of the backing tracks, leaving you with the vocals and maybe two instruments audible over the constant bass thrum.

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On top of that, the big speaker in the center of the dash plays both audio channels (so, mono) and does it louder than the rest. The end result is that you’re just sitting next to a music source rather than being cocooned in sound from all directions like you should be.

Illustration for article titled JBL: Crap Audio for Brand Whores
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But hey, at least it has DSP! Let’s see what kind of cool toys it ha-

Illustration for article titled JBL: Crap Audio for Brand Whores
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Oh. The only options it gives you are a fake surround sound (that makes it somehow even more buzzier and echoier) and a speed-controlled volume that doesn’t even have any sensitivity settings. Nothing fancy going on with the equalizer either. Just your typical bass/mid/treble sliders.

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