1. The volume knob cannot be used while in 3rd gear.

2. The left cup holder is essentially useless given that you must shift gears with an arm, presumably attached to your body.

3. The automatic high beams work...really well?!? In my 2012 AMG they were absolute trash.

4. The car is low. Bus/truck drivers can use the panoramic roof to...observe you.


5. The exhaust is *so* much louder from outside the car. (It was driven by someone other than me for the first time while I was out of the car listening.)

6. Old women stop traffic to tell me they love the car. Jackpot.

7. The front splitter thing (not the painted one, the black plastic one beneath) will rub on tall speed bumps, curbs, and when driving down a ramp. It seems very resilient and hasn’t shifted position at all.


8. This car has the worst backup camera possibly ever.

9. The (optional) seats and driving position are superb.

10. The A/C in this car is presumably the same unit used to cool the Large Hadron Collider when running at maximum flux. It is capable of cryogenically preserving humans.


11. Every switch and knob (especially climate controls) is pleasing to use. Nice job, Jaguar.

12. With the extended leather package, everything is leather. Nice.

13. JLR uses really great leather in their premium vehicles. The base leather in the XE feels like crap, but it’s awesome in the XJ, F, and RR products. It has this waxy, matte sheen to it that I love. Probably my favorite leather in modern cars. It smells awesome.


14. The 770 watt Meridian system is in my opinion the best standard audio system in any car today (that doesn’t cost 200k+).

15. The touchscreen is outdated and slow...but who really gives a fuck? Why are you messing with it so much? Drive the damn car. (Seriously, it does suck though).


16. The car feels well put together.

17. I do wish I had a mechanical LSD rather than electronic brake activated whatever. I haven’t noticed it driving, but I just wish that anyways. Should be standard in my opinion. Then again, my one million lb/ft CLS 63 had an open diff too (?!?!?! are you fucking crazy, Mercedes?). That sucked. This is much better.


18. There is a button to manually deploy the spoiler. The spoiler cannot be manually deployed. It can only be opened while the car is off to clean underneath. Let me open my spoiler, Jaguar.

19. In V6 trim, the car is astoundingly well balanced.

20. It has the best warranty in the business, and free maintenance for 60k miles.


21. The Pirelli P-Zeros will be replaced with Michelin PSS at the earliest opportunity. Not a bad tire, infinitely better than the absolute trash Conti SportContact 5P, but it’s still no PSS.

22. The car is deceivingly wide. No, I didn’t hit anything.

23. I got a new Samsung washer and dryer, they are super awes- oh right, F Type stuff.


24. The rear hatch is designed “to accommodate two golf bags” which it absolutely will, if you only have wedges and 9 irons in your bag. It will however, fit two lacrosse sticks.


25. Windshield washer fluid goes in the trunk. Weight distribution ftw.

26. The shifter is okay, good even. It’s not the kind of transmission I’d tell everyone about (like an S2000 or some Porsches), but I also don’t have any major complaints. It works, and the shift character matches the personality of the car.


Bonus Fact- Doug once told a Michael Jackson joke at a summer camp. It upset one girl so much she went home. She really liked Michael Jackson.