I feel like the author was missing the point. It's not supposed to be a luxury cruiser. It's not supposed to be a work truck. And it's not supposed to be subtle. It's supposed to have presence, to have a sense of theater, and to be fun. And it's supposed to be cool. Rolling up in one makes you look like a celebrity or a Russian mafia boss. The noise is epic. The styling is imposing. And the performance is hysterical.
The review did get one thing right: The entire point of the G63 is to say, "Fuck you, I'm rich." I'd buy one, if I had the money. And if that means I am enduring a miserable, perilous, and generally unpleasant driving experience just so the whole world can know I'm an asshole, so be it. It may be a bad car, and an expensive bad car at that. But for me, just seeing one, and hearing it, tells me that there is something about it that makes it worth having. And clearly, due to its popularity with journalists and consumers alike, I'm not alone here.
To give the author his fair credit, this is both a love-it-or-hate-it car, and an incredibly stupid one.