Alright that’s enough music, how about some actual car stuff? Anyways here’s a list of questions I have about the Chevrolet Equinox:

Who put the all the radio and HVAC controls so far away that I have to lean forward, and why are they angled such that I am pushing down? Why does a car with 40k miles have a faulty fuel gauge? Why did the first gen only come with a V6? Why does it get gas mileage similar to a cruise ship? Why does it have a sport button? Why does it have an Eco button? Why does it hurt when I pee? Why hasn’t anyone at GM apparently ever read On A Clear Day You Can See General Motors? Why did GM get rid of their beautifully simple signal stalk based cruise control? Why is there a sport model? Why was there an Olympic-themed “Podium Edition” for a car that won’t win anything more than a participation prize? Why did GM give such a bland car such a good name? Will GM ever make a good small SUV?