Don’t eat airport Gyros. I repeat. DONT FUCKING EAT AIRPORT GYROS.

As amazing as they are, and I knew how tasty they would be... On my way to navy boot camp we all have our little checks for $16 for food. Ooh wee where are we going to- oh my god they have gyros. Chicago airport. A delicious gyro. An unsettling bus ride. Entering basic training. Trying to pee in a cup for urinalysis whilst holding back the unholy wrath of Satan himself from making an apocalyptic entrance into our world through my bowels.

So please, don’t eat airport gyros. Find a local family run place with hot Greek waitresses like I’m going to do for lunch tomorrow.