Last minute xmas gift pickup for the wife

I slacked on picking up some of my wife’s presents because we’re “not doing much” as usual. But I found myself today needing some presents to arrive before I fly out of town on Sunday. Thankfully, xmas is saved thanks to Amazon’s FREE SAME DAY ORDERING. No, this is not a commercial.

My wife didn’t ask for a candle, but she did want assorted hippie friendly nice smelling girly products like natural soap bars and bath bombs and whatnot. I got some of that in stores here but was meaning to get that from Amazon. Also a pair of slippers.


This morning I was a super bum and then when I finally got on Amazon today, I wanted to filter by stuff available for delivery by tomorrow. Instead it had FREE SAME DAY DELIVERY and I was like wuuuuuuuttttttt.

This is probably because Amazon has a big warehouse outside of Baltimore and they have their AMZL US drivers around here in Maryland so thanks to the modern Bezos future of labor exploitation, I could have hippie friendly girly sniffy products delivered today, with an order of $35 or more! Even though that warehouse in Baltimore had the roof blown off by a tornado and someone died, like, within the last couple months.

I picked out some bath bombs and other things but my order wasn’t quite $35. I tried to quickly think of what other stuff I could get for my wife and she always likes candles, so I searched for hippie friendly candles that were on the free same day list. And I found this Our Own Candle Company Smell My Nuts Scented 13 oz Mason Jar Candle - Made in the USA! I mean, with a name like that, how could I not buy it? It put me over the $35 threshold and now all this stuff will be here today.

I am contributing to the downfall of society.


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