Because of this.
I’m going to go get it patched this afternoon. Hopefully it didn’t fuck up the sidewall too badly. Because the Kia didn’t come with a spare or jack, I’m going to pull one of the old wheels out of the shed and buy a scissorjack and lug wrench.
That’s the Hyundai/Kia tire inflator kit. It did its jerb but damn if it didn’t take longer than it would have taken me to change the tire.