Leaking News: Ram will unveil next generation of trucks with luxury multifuction tailgates

The next generation of Ram trucks are sure to blow your socks off. Apparently, the Tesla-esque infotainment system is just the start.

What will steal the show (and your poop) is the Luxury Tailgating Package, estimated to cost $15,000. The tailgate is rumored to hold:

1. A folding marble stair case with gilded railings for easy access to the bed.

2. The Schrodinger’s features - where panels can be folded away from the top, bottom and sides - or not. But the tailgate will still somehow contain that thing with mysterious dimensions that warrant you to spend $15,000 on a tailgate.


3. Two heated and cooled leather seats, with the center that falls away to reveal the most luxurious toilet seat on wheels that you can share with a partner. The arm rest folds out to give the occupant a host of music, butt washing/drying and cup-holdery functions.

3. When latched close, the tailgate also holds the active rear spoiler and diffuser.


4. Just for the bragging rights, the tailgate will also fold itself into an origami swan.

How will they pull that off? In what is said to be the most ambitious crossover ever, Ram has been rumored to consult Michael Bay, for his Transformer technology and Toto, the high-tech Japanese toilet giant.


We patiently await more details and photos that confirm this asinine trend. Stay tuned for more Leaking News (Rumor Mills LLC).

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