...ok, ok, I know what you're thinking after a crazy headline like that. Actually, I don't, but I can imagine it's something along the lines of needing to put the pot down. Before you rush to judgement, let me lay down some background.

The first part really needs no introduction: Nissan has this thing called a BladeGlider. Apparently, it's really awesome.

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There's also this movie out right now called The Fault in Our Stars and apparently it's also really awesome. It's based on a book, which is based on a real girl's life, which is also the basis for another book, and I'm confused, so yeah it might be time to put the pot down.

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Long story short, there was this girl named Esther Grace Earl who had cancer, got a bunch of friends and family to send her off, and then she died, sad face :( But then a famous author wrote a book about her that everybody loves and it got turned into a movie everybody loves, happy face :)

In the book...ah, the second book about Esther Grace Earl, the autobiography This Star Won't Go Out, Esther talks about her dreams of being a novelist just like John Green, her hero. But John Green wasn't the only author she loved - she also loved J.K. Rowlings and the world of Harry Potter. One of the incomplete fiction drafts featured at the back of This Star Won't Go Out titled "Anderaddon" is a high fantasy piece in the same vein as, well, I'd say more Tolkien-like than Harry Potter-ish. It's full of world-building asides and it abruptly ends because, well, the author died.

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One of these world-building asides is about a castle on an island in Southwest Anderaddon ruled by a cruel and tyrannical, uh, giant parrot. Look, this is by a 13-year old terminal cancer patient, are you really going to criticize? Besides, apparently the other denizens are all sea rats and parrots, so it wouldn't be too out of place. It'd be like the typical American motorist firmly believing in German reliability: odd, but you can see where it's coming from.

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This giant parrot tyrant king, like all good evil villains, got his top spot by offing the old guy:

BladeSlip was an evil, gigantic parrot (see, told ya) who was as slippery as an eel when it came to trusting him. The last king, Jockle, blah blah blah his favorite out of blah blah blah's was BladeSlip, at that time called BladeThrow. When Jockle was sitting down blah blah blah BladeThrow "happened" to let his blade "slip" on the king's front paw (yeah, the old king's a giant rat, forgot to mention that). Jockle cursed him and challenged him to a duel. BladeThrow, knowing the king was older than he and wounded, accepted gladly (I imagine Jockle was extremely poor at Texas Hold'em).

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At which point, at the conclusion of the duel, I'm pretty sure Tom Hiddleston and Jaaaaags were worked in somehow. Maybe, or maybe not, while spraying down Porsches.

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Anyway, if you were paying attention and actually bothered to read that quote block, you can probably see where I'm going with this Nissan BladeGlider thing.

Yes, I know, it's one hell of a pot-induced stretch. Stranger things have happened. Strange, strange things. Besides, it could be a nice gesture, not to mention, the John Green and Fault in Our Stars is really down with the kids today and car companies are all about the kids now.

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So, who's with me, fellow Jalops?