I’ve been thinking about how to rewrite Queen’s Killer Queen into a proper automotive-centric song about my car. Here are the original lyrics.

[Verse 1]
She keeps Moet et Chandon
In her pretty cabinet
‘Let them eat cake’ she says
Just like Marie Antoinette
A built-in remedy
For Khrushchev and Kennedy
At anytime an invitation
You can’t decline
Caviar and cigarettes
Well versed in etiquette
Extraordinarily nice

[Chorus]
She’s a Killer Queen
Gunpowder, gelatin
Dynamite with a laser beam
Guaranteed to blow your mind
Anytime

[Post-Chorus]
Recommended at the price
Insatiable an appetite
Want to try?

[Verse 2]
To avoid complications
She never kept the same address
In conversation
She spoke just like a baroness
Met a man from China
Went down to Geisha Minah
(Killer, killer, she’s a killer Queen)
Then again incidentally
If you’re that way inclined
Perfume came naturally from Paris (naturally)
For cars, she couldn’t care less
Fastidious and precise

[Chorus]
She’s a Killer Queen
Gunpowder, gelatine
Dynamite with a laser beam
Guaranteed to blow your mind
Anytime

[Guitar Solo]

[Bridge]
Drop of a hat she’s as willing as
Playful as a pussy cat
Then momentarily out of action
Temporarily out of gas
To absolutely drive you wild, wild
She’s all out to get you

[Chorus]
She’s a Killer Queen
Gunpowder, gelatine
Dynamite with a laser beam
Guaranteed to blow your mind
Anytime

[Outro]
Recommended at the price
Insatiable an appetite
Want to try?
Want to try?

Obviously there are some lines that are super easy to change, like:

“Gunpowder, Gelatin” into “Gunpowder, Gasoline”.

and then there’s “Want to Try?” which can easily be changed to “Want to Drive?” or “Want to Ride?”.

But almost all the other bits, particularly “Recommended at the price”, and Verses 1 & 2, would need to be rewritten to better contextualize the song being about a car, not a call girl.

I’m open to suggestions.