“Sure it’s $22/lb cured ham, but I’ll make sandwiches. Entire days’ worth of meals will be filled with delicious cured ham. It’ll actually be cheaper than buying other foods! And I definitely will not stand at the kitchen counter and mindlessly consume slice after slice, each time telling myself that it’s the last slice while simultaneously justifying taking another slice so that I don’t leave a layer of plastic with one slice on top instead of two. No. I will not do that.”

I did do that. Just like I always do. Every. Damn. Time.