So I want to start this rant off by saying this is not a slam on lesbians or LBGT at all, I have many great friends that are of that sexual persuasion, and the only reason I mention it is because it bears on the story. So anyhow, I have been pretty ill the past week, just nasty feeling and not being able to eat or drink much. Saturday I ate something in the am, went out to grab a bite and try to suck down a beer at my local fooding and watering hole.

I went with 2 ladyfriends of mine who are in a relationship. We went in, it almost looked like a gay bar. Fine, cool, grab me a Rolling Rock and some breakfast for dinner. In walks a woman and her gaggle of girlfriends celebrating St. Patricks day a bit early. The one in question is a State Trooper, in a kilt, her uniform shirt and a sash full of police Emerald Society pins, shithouse drunk.

A few years back (4) I am driving a freshly painted, stickered and registered Vanagon down the turnpike. One of the sneakier things the fuzz likes to do in our state is go park their cars in hiding, and lurk behind the toll booth office to pop out at you and point a finger for you to pull over. So I am driving the bus, hair maybe 2 inches too long all around on a nice summer day, go through the toll booth, and after I pay and go through I see a cop waving me over. Didn't do anything wrong, so I figure she was waving someone else over. I took off. Looking in the rearview I see her run across 2 toll lanes to get in her cruiser. Fuck it, I keep driving, must be someone else. Boy was I wrong. She stops me, and starts yelling. Says she almost got hit trying to come after me, and boy was I in trouble. This woman is a mountain, 6 foot tall and really pissed. And I sometimes have a mouth about me when I perceive injustice. What did you pull me over for officer? "You have a loud exhaust, but that is the beginning of your troubles evading me."


I happened to put a bone stock exhaust and gaskets on it that weekend and pulled the receipts for that and vehicle inspection report. I also informed her I knew there was only 2 officers in the state that are licensed to do roadside inspections, so I needed some other reason for the stop or she was going to call a supervisor in or I was going to jail for taking off. After some back and forth bickering. She lets me go because I was not going to be a pushover and subject to any search or incriminate myself.

Fast forward to yesterday, in she walks with a whole lot of women to impress. Guess who she never forgot? Yup, you got it. Me. Not like I forgot either. So she relays her version of the story to her friends who are giggling and I hear "Hey, there's that fucking hippy who thinks he knows better then I do, still got your stupid hippy van?" I reply, nope sold it after I realized what a target it is for cops who have nothing better to do. And so the melee really begins, my 2 young, cute lesbian friends berating the old dusty ones in the corner with the cop and vice versa.


I think I am marked now, but we left them there. As far as I am concerned you do not represent your police or fire department when you go out drinking. I am not going to complain, but if I get pulled over in the next week for nothing, I am seriously going to consider bringing this up. Rant complete, carry on