Like most of you reading this, I spend a lot of my free (and not-so-free) time browsing the internet in search of bitchin’ car deals. Lately, my time has been consumed with 1970s and ‘80s Chevy pickups, ‘60s muscle cars, Volvo C70 coupes (not even really sure why I like these), and, of course, 911s.

I’ve been really intrigued by the idea of an old 911 for a while now. There’s something very appealing to me about a small, sporty car that seems to be fairly reliable as well as relatively practical. Then, there’s the lack of life-threatening power outputs. Being as it is that I have a hard enough time staying in control of anything more than, oh, 160-odd hp, the idea of a “slow” sports car makes sense just in terms of self-preservation. Sure, my pupils dilate alarmingly whenever someone nearby says “Hellcat” (and there’s probably some unnoticed drool coming out my mouth a la Rottweiler with rabies), but we all know I’d be upside down in the middle of Mordor after five minutes in that thing. I guess it goes back to the whole “drive a slow car fast” sort of thing.

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At any rate, I’ve been browsing autotempest.com for 993s, and can’t seem to figure out why in the ever-loving fuck a 20-year-old Porsche costs near as makes no difference $200,000. I get that it’s the last of the air-cooled 911s, but it seems to me that the price is greatly inflated on these— especially when you consider that you could buy, for that money, a brand new GT3 RS. And have something left over for whatever it is Porsche-owners buy— something shiny for their mistress, or a penis pump.

This brings me onto my latest discovery: a 2006 911 C2S with 26k on the clock, a 6MT, and the Sport Chrono pack for a $47,500 BIN.

This is sort of a Tavarish question, but I honestly think I’m missing something here. What the hell is the deal with this listing? I’ve heard the old “if it’s too good to be true...”, but I genuinely want someone to buy it, and then let me drive it as a “thank you for finding this bitchin’ deal for me, Henry”. So, Porsche-philes and serial cheaters, tell me— what’s wrong with this 997, and with 911 prices in general?