Today, trying to buy a big bottle of Cruzan rum for our beach trip.

Illustration for article titled Liquor store linguistics...

Me: Do you have an unflavored rums? All I see are the blends.

Clerk (20-something lady): Sure, which one are you looking for?

Me: Specifically Cruzan if you have it. (NOTE: this is pronounced roughly as CROO-shen, as in “native of St. Croix” — also spelled Crucian)


Her: Which one?

Me: Cruzan?

Her: Oh, you mean KROO-zan. (*looking at me like I’m an idiot*)

Me, immediately transported back to being an elementary school nerd: (sigh) Yes.

I probably should have had fun with it, asking for El Jim-a-door tequila and some Skyyyyyy vodka. You have to trill the Y. It’s a San Francisco thing.

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