This was one of those rare moments which sets the stage for an epic headline. And it was wasted. Here are my suggestions:

SOUSED LUSH SLAMS FLUSH HOUSE

LOCAL DRUNK HAS CRAPPY LUCK

TOO MANY DRINKS, NOW TRUCK STINKS

SH*TWAGON!

THE SH*T HITS THE VAN (I know, it was an Explorer, but most average readers wouldn't make the distinction).

Also, can we please talk about the structural integrity of that building. This is exactly why people compare things to a "brick shithouse." Still standing!


GRAND TRAVERSE CO. — A 23-year-old Traverse City woman was arrested for crashing into a city sewage station and leaving the scene.

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The crash happened on Monday around 3 a.m. at the City of Traverse City Sewage Lift Station on the northeast corner of Woodmere and Hannah.

Officers found the woman walking on the TART Trail near Boyd Street, about three blocks from the crash.

The woman, who was the registered owner of the car and the sole occupant, admitted to being the driver the left the road and crashed into the building.

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The woman was arrested for leaving the scene of a property damage accident and operating under the influence with a high B.A.C. The Traverse City Police Department reports she had a B.A.C. of .280.

Police said the building that housed the sewage station was a total loss. While no sewage leaks occurred, the building also houses many electronic monitoring devices that were damaged.

The woman was held at the Grand Traverse County Jail. She has not yet been arraigned.

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Original story here.