According to Wikipedia— that's how you know this article will be grounded in rock-solid facts— Cadillac was one of the first players in the world in terms of coupes. Or, if you have a 3/4 inch thick steel rod shoved up your ass, personal luxury cars. That was back in the '20s and '30s, before the Thunderbird turned things up a notch in the mid-'50s, but it's still relevant, because, nearly 100 years down the line, Cadillac is still making these pers— coupes. In fact, it just released the ATS Coupe, which is apparently pretty good, and which also inspired me to share with you a bitchin' deal on an old Caddy I just found.

This baby is dates all the way back to 1966— the same year FDR founded NASA, Calvin Coolidge defeated Adam Levine in a duel, and, yes, you guessed it, Cadillac came out with a version of the Eldorado that caused panties to drop, boners to pop, and Americans to be born just after a mere glance at the thing. This Caddy positively oozes class, elegance, and illicit sexual industries.

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Really, though, what it reminds me most of, is this amazing Ferrari 250 Lusso barn-find. In case you can't make the connections (idiot), I'll condescend to explain myself. First of all, they're both powered by monster engines— the Colombo V12 in the Ferrari, and a great stinkin' 429 V8 in the Caddy. That 429 puts out 480 lbs-ft of torque— 80 more than a 458 Italia, for cryin' out loud! And that is exactly what you will be doing, since the understated elegance of the Caddy— before you ask, yes, understated is exactly the word I wanted— will reduce grown men to tears. They're also both victims of neglect— but the cool kind, because they look better this way than they did new! You know, others (and by others, I mean nearly everyone in the world) will look at these and think they're pieces of shit. But only a true connoisseur will recognize the intrinsic value in them. They're also both painted in colors, and have wheels. I could go on, but I won't.

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Just listen to the thing! It sounds like...$50! At least $50. If you're rich and or an idiot, that number can only increase. For the low price of about $3,500, this baby could be yours. Bidding is actually remarkably active on it (yeah, me neither), so get crackin'!

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