I may be late to this party. On one hand, these are a great way to get around a congested area. On the other, people give 0 shits about where they leave them and their conduct while driving them. That’s bad. Folks, use the bike rules: walk them if you’re on a sidewalk and park courteously.

This week I’ve developed extensor tendonitis in my left foot for the 3rd time in 6 months. I’m going to need to get that looked at. So walking great distances has been out. As luck has it, I’m also in Paris - one of the most walkable cities in the world. Damn.

A lot of the things I wanted to see are a 30-40 minute walk from each other so I decided to give these guys a try. They’re pretty great for getting around here. They’re relatively quick, are stable enough (though FWD braking gets dicey in the wet), and strangely enough - traffic here seems to make MORE sense when on one.

Let me explain that last bit...The shear fuckery of Paris traffic is hilarious. The lights are non-sense, the drivers turn on reds, there are bikes, mopeds, motorcycles, cars, trucks, taxis, police, ambulances, and pedestrians all simultaneously engaged in a chaotic dance. From a typical driver’s perspective, it’s insanity. Yet from my perspective, everyone treats their car as if it were a big Vespa.

Suddenly, I get it. Enough room for two lanes but only one lane of markings? Then make two. No one coming? Go straight on red - you’re just a pedestrian with 2 or 4 wheels anyways.

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However, this brings me to the one point about these scooters that’s going to do them in: they are hilariously dangerous. With 0 skills, no verification of helmet, and no sense for local traffic - you can grab one and start mixing it up with traffic. That’s insane. I’m a rational and level headed person (within reason, I am building an Exocet) but these things are basically the same speed as a car/motorycle in traffic.

For now, I’m going to enjoy it when traveling. These are probably getting banned, haha.