Illustration for article titled Making relationships, baby

I don’t have the energy to rant about what led to this, but suffice it to say that coworkers who have interns should not get to set standards for people who don’t have their own personal slaves to do shitty time wasting work for them. This basically means having to trawl my database and typeset in Word, because we’ve now decided that we can’t trust designers who have Illustrator and are paid to do things like typeset.

Instead, I decided to create a report that pulls up to three records into a single page, but not every time, because some records would only go on one page. It works like a charm, because I am the OG of relational databases. Above is the draft I sketched out very messily, because I’m old and can’t think without paper.


I feel sort of sorry for my coworkers’ interns who are going to have to try and typeset this bullshit in Word with specifications for line spacing that go down to the millimeter. But not sorry enough to disseminate my database, since it means I’ll be producing work much faster than everyone else.

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