What is the sound of one piston slapping?
What is the sound of one piston slapping?
Illustration for article titled Maybe this email came from a Nigerian prince, but I put good karma back out to them anyway

I posted my 335xi for sale, but I’m not exactly in a rush to sell it, because I actually got frustrated with a buyer flaking on me and just paid the fucking thing off. But I left my ads up, and tonight I got this email.

Good Morning! I hope this email finds you well, I was browsing through craigslist and came across your post! Your e92 335i is a beautiful machine and I’m more than interested! Theres a couple question I would like to ask if possible but first I would like to say a little about myself. I just recently turned 21 back in June and have been looking for a manual transmission e92 335i! Im currently working full time since I had to take a seamster off from school due to a problem I had with my finical aid. During the time that I was going to School and currently going to work its been quite tedious and time consuming getting to school and work through public transportation! So I was looking to get a car as soon as possible. But Ive always dreamed of owning an e92! Its a reliable and breathing taking car, even more when its manual transmission like yours! The set price posted for it is reasonable but I would like to ask if you’re asking for the money all at once or if youre willing to finance the car! I’m very much interested so I would greatly appreciate you letting me know. Have a wonderful day and thank you for your time!

-Bryan G.

I saw this and thought the following:

  1. This certainly reads like a scam, but who would go to the trouble of making a scam targeted at stick shift E92 335i owners?
  2. If Bryan G. is real, he is in no position to afford maintaining what he thinks is a “reliable and breathing taking car, even more when its manual transmission like yours”
  3. I’m going to tell Bryan G. that I can’t in good conscience sell him this car because that shit will bankrupt him.
  4. If Bryan G. is not real, the Nigerian prince operating Bryan G. will not be able to scam me for providing good vibes and a point in the direction of more reliable brands.

Hi Bryan G.,

I really appreciate your thoughtful message. I have to be honest with you, while this car is fun, it’s definitely not the cheapest to maintain. I’ve put a lot of maintenance into it and also modified it a lot. It needs more time and attention than a regular car, and that costs money. With the situation you described, I would be doing you a real disservice if I sold it to you. I know having a fun car is tempting but you really should focus on stuff that’s more reliable and cheaper to fix. Honda, Toyota, Subaru, Mazda, Hyundai, Kia, stuff like that. Hope this helps!


I sure hope that Bryan G. heeds my sage advice.

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