What is the sound of one piston slapping?
What is the sound of one piston slapping?
Illustration for article titled Me IRL

The doctor couldn’t confirm whether it was norovirus or just generic food poisoning (probably from some questionable yellowtail), but whatever it is it’s driving me crazy. Two days so far, with at least one more in my future. I can’t sleep and am going through a large roll of TP every day. I’m also quite, um, raw back there. The fever has gone away, which is progress, but let’s just say that I’m happy that the tub is next to the toilet.


Every 15-30 minutes it’s time for another evacuation. I’m trying to stay hydrated, but there are only so many flavors of Gatorade (and clones) you can consume before it all tastes the same. I’m a bit afraid of going to sleep for fear of what might happen when I’m unconscious.


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