I’m going to take a moment to brag about how living in Snow Country my whole life has afforded me the ability to see into the future, and not just that - actually alter the course of history.  

Yes, you’re reading that correctly. Just tonight, I was following my wife home in the car and here’s what happened:

Approaching a major highway interchange, I’m on an access road that curves more than 90 degree as it goes under the highway, providing poor visibility to what’s on the other side of the underpass while probably going 40+ mph in good weather. Well it was dark, snowing, and the road was slushy. JUST on the other side of this curve is where you turn LEFT to get on the highway. My wife stops behind 2-3 other cars to wait to turn left, and I stop behind her.

I thought, “hmm, it’s dark, this is a blind corner, and the road is all slush. I should give LOTS of room between me and my wife (she was actually driving my E46 wagon) because someone could come around that corner and not be able to stop in time. I really don’t want to become a Volvo sandwich here, not to mention crashing into my wife, with the kids in the car.”

Seconds later, I kid you not, I look in my mirror and Johnny I-don-need-no-stinkin-sno-tires-Jetta comes flying up behind me, and I’m thinking, He can’t stop in time. It happened quickly, but I rolled forward into the gap I had left, and he skidded to a stop so close to me that I couldn’t see his faded headlights in my rearview mirror, even after I rolled forward. In my side mirror I could see skid tracks and his car was askew, slightly.

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I mean, it’s been snowing for nearly 24 hours straight, not hard, but enough to make roads slippery. It’s also January. In New Hampshire. IT’S SLIPPERY, SLOW DOWN. This guy was 100% rear-ending me, until I rolled forward about 6 feet at the last second. I wonder what he thought of that? Like his future self coming down and telling him not to race Biff.

BOY am I glad not to be assessing damage on the side of the road on TWO of our cars right now (both ends of one of them), with my kids in one of the cars, melting down because it’s bedtime.

What do I win?

OK I’ll stop being a jackass now. I’m sure I’ll crash into a snowbank tomorrow for my smugness.