My wife sent me to Ikea last week. If you’ve never been there, it’s a horrible place. It’s set up like the old grocery stores. You’re expected to enter in one place, then follow the path through the entire two-story gigantic store before going through checkout. They really don’t want you to just pop in and grab what you need. You think I’m joking? Look at this!

That’s not even the full store. You’re allowed to grab some items, but for others you have to note the item number, then go pull them from the warehouse yourself.if something is on an upper shelf, you have to order it and come back another day. They won’t run a forklift in here when customers are present.

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There are other items that they will pull from the back warehouse after you pay for them. While they were pulling it, I had the joy of taking the stuff I’d already pulled out to the truck and moving it to the loading area. By the way, whoever thought a cart with four caster wheels was a good idea should be forced to spend an entire day maneuvering one around a parking lot in the Texas summer heat.four wheel casters are a bad idea.

With that being loaded, the next task was to move the truck to the loading area to pick up the other items. I was reminded that every entitled a-hole who can’t follow directions or understand a simple layout shops at IKEA.lets just block in two cars by parking in the red zone... I’ll only be a minute!

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You’re supposed to drive down the one-way lane and back into one of the spaces. The sidewalk is covered and has barriers to keep your cart from rolling into the parking lot. That’s a great thing because, despite this part of Texas being flatter than Kansas, ikea managed to build in a slope so your four-wheel-steering funky cart does it’s best to roll away from you.

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After you get loaded, you have to wait for all the terrible drivers to clear the road. White van lady waited ten minutes for the truck driver to load his truck then return his cart then move his truck, all despite the plethora of empty parking spaces she could have just backed into!

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At least there was something, ummm, let’s just say “interesting “ to look at while I waited.

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That’s the lesson for the day, boys and girls. If you have to buy from Ikea, just save yourself the hassle and order it online.