Here’s what happened.

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The guy’s insurance is being very cool so far. He admitted fault, reported it quickly, I’m glad he wasn’t charged. I talked to his dad while the odds and ends were being sorted out right after the fact. Apparently he works nights and has a really long commute. Everyone I tell the story to immediately assumes he was drunk or otherwise under the influence; the evidence to the contrary is slim.

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*EDIT: The CBP officer who responded let me know that he did check for signs of intoxication and found nothing incriminating.

AFAIK the driver is okay. That’s really the most important thing here. I’m not out for any sort of philosophical reckoning. I just want my Jeep back. People make mistakes.