So, I hate the “Taxi Of Tomorrow” and I love the Crown Vic. Like any like minded person, I firmly believe that the “Taxi Of Tomorrow” is a giant hunk of ape shit. Every once and a while, I have to make my disdain known for these ugly horrible pieces of feces.

  1. They have the center of gravity of a shipping container.
  2. They have tiny ass wheels that won’t take nicely to potholes.
  3. They are made of cheap plastic and thin great depression metal.
  4. They are ugly as fuck can get. That’s pretty ugly if you were wondering.
  5. They shouldn’t be forced on cab drivers since they suck so much ass.
  6. The Crown Vic was Police proven, if a car can withstand that. It can pretty much withstand anything. The Nissan Nvpieceofshit2000 is not proven by any means.
  7. The Crown Vic had a 4.6 V8. The Nissan NVgianthunkofass has some horrid little 4 banger with no pickup whatsoever paired with a CVT.
  8. There was an incredible amount of corruption in play while instating this program. Nissan must be good with bribing politicians.
  9. The Nveatabagofdicks200 has nowhere near the amount of parts availability that the Crown Vic has. Nissan is probably going to make everything super inaccessible so they have to bring it to a dealer to change the oil and shit.
  10. It’s a Mexican made Japanese car. The Crown Vic was a Canadian made American car, but at least it was still an American car.
  11. They don’t look iconic. The Crown Vic was a true icon, the Nissan N-Assmongler will never be an icon.
  12. They’ll all be dead by 200k and five years. Face the truth.

Pictured: The NvPOS2000 in it’s natural habitat. Bet you’ll never see a Crown Vic like that after running over a pedestrian.