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My Butt Hurts

How do I explain this in a way that doesn’t sound totally ridiculous?

Illustration for article titled My Butt Hurts
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I went wakeboarding with a friend tonight. He and his wife and son were in their boat, I was in mine with my sister. We each took a turn wakeboarding behind each other’s boats by starting and finishing on our own boats. That way, we never even got into each others’ boats. Does that make sense?

When I was about done, my friend drove close to my boat so I could cut over and land on mine. Only, I came in a little hot so I could sit down on the side of my boat without going in the water before losing momentum. I knew I could do it, but I never had before, exactly. Plus I was riding switch at the time. I came in a bit too fast and sat down quickly so I didn’t impale myself with some other sharp bits farther up the boat, and slammed my right butt cheek into the rear corner of the boat. It’s rounded, but not soft. We’re talking about a difference of 2 inches vertically, before coming into the cushioned part of the rear of the boat, while being flung toward a boat floating in the middle of a lake by another boat going about 20mph. So I thought I did pretty damn good! Even if I was *slightly* off.

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So yeah, that’s my story. “First world problems” as they say. Wakeboarding injuries resulting from having two wakeboard boats available to us in the first place. The above pic was the view, it was a beautiful night out there, because it always is. But my butt hurts. I’m going to bed.

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