My company does a LOT of private buys, which is fun, but that means I have to deal with morons on craigslist or autotrader on a consistent basis. Here’s the gem of an exchange from yesterday. Worth noting, whenever I email these people I send it from my work email so my phone #, work email, company website and logo are all there.

Me: Hey (morons name here), saw you have your 2016 Civic for sale. Is it still available and can I have the VIN to run the CarFax?

Moron: I will not give the VIN as being a dealer, I’m sure you know you can duplicate keys via a car’s VIN and thats how they’re stolen.

Me: With all due respect (moron’s name here), we’re a publicly traded company, I’m not going to send someone to steal a $16,000 civic. I only want the VIN so I can make sure the car’s history is clean, it’s something we do for all cars.

Moron: the car is clean, take my word for it. Why don’t you come see the car first before I give you the VIN to at least look at it.

Me: *realizing this is a waste of time and no deal here* (moron’s name here), you won’t take my word that your car won’t be taken by a large public company, so why should I take yours that the car is clean?

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Moron: *probably annoyed at this rate as he responded an hour later* you’re a wholesaler anyway, the cars clean, $16,000 is my firm price and I won’t give the VIN out unless you’re in person. Thanks.