I’m sitting in Starbucks in Manhattan and this little girl, who’s maybe about eight, is telling her mom this story:

“I hate her. She’s so boring. She tells such boring stories. Like, she came up to us and said ‘hey, wanna hear a crazy story?’ And we were like ‘YEAH! WE LOVE CRAZY STORIES!’ and she starts talking about how she couldn’t find her laptop charger. She went on for like, twenty minutes about how she couldn’t find her laptop charger. So she finished the story and we were like ‘Yeah. That was really crazy. Your life is so interesting.’ How can any person be that boring? She’s terrible.”

I hope my future kids are even half as bitchy as that little girl.