I didn’t take any screen caps, so all pics are randomly found on the internet.

The game “My Summer Car” is now available on steam, and the idea of a game that replicates the experience of rebuilding a shitty car during the Finnish summer of 1995 is right up my alley (I also like getting Russian trucks stuck in the mud, don’t judge). so I downloaded it earlier this week. I’ve had only limited time to play thanks to the bathroom renovation project, but I figured I’d give a run through of my experiences so far.

First try!

I choose a grey car, turn off permadeath and load up the game. I’m dumped into a house full of wood paneling, with a case of beer.

After some wandering around the house I find the front door and am confronted with the bare shell of a rusty grey car, and a garage full of parts. While I wandered around I was constantly being buzzed by flies, despite my “dirty” meter being empty.

Like this, but greyer.

I decide to install the suspension first so the shell would roll. In went the subframe, then I tried to figure out how to bolt it in place. It took forever for figure out that clicking on the tool box latches didn’t work and the F opened the box. Then more frustration before figuring out how to switch to “tool mode” (2 key), then more frustration waving various wrench sizes at it until I found the right one. Slowly I added the left lower control arm, spindle, strut, steering rack and left tie rod. During all this the fly noises were driving me nuts, and adding to my frustration.

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Once I had the left front suspension in, I noticed I was hungry, and went inside to eat the package of sausages I had seen on the kitchen table. That only halved my hunger meter, so I realized I’d need more.

I jumped into the van, argued with the handbrake for a while, and set off. I pushed H to turn on the lights, and instead punched out my windshield. After moving the broken windshield into the back of the van, I pushed L to turn on the lights and set off, wind in my hair. While barreling down a backroad in the dark I skidded off the road into the woods. Attempting to turn around I got the van stuck in a small gully, with the headlights shining on the road. All attempts to back up, turn, etc. got me nowhere. It was pitch black so walking home wouldn’t work. I realized I was going to die exhausted, hungry, and beset by flies in the middle of the woods. So I exited the game and gave up.

Again not my pic, but very much my feelings.

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Second try!

I’d found out online that you avoided flies by using the sauna. Sure. Ok. So I go in the sauna room and spend a long while turning it on, filling the bucket, dropping the bucket, getting the bucket wedged under the shelf, etc. All while the sauna doesn’t get a single degree hotter.

I finally give up and go eat my one package of sausage. I decide I’m not going to wait until I am starving to try and buy more. In fact, I’m going to stock up so I don’t have to buy another package until I can drive my completed car over there.

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Something like this.

So I leap into the van, manage to not punch the windshield out this time, and drive to the store. Aside from one sphincter-clenching encounter with a moose, I arrive unscathed. Only to discover it is too late, and the store is closed. I briefly ponder buying a bunch of sausage meals and individual beers from the bar next door, but realize that would cost a fortune. Left with the option of driving home and sleeping next to my untouched car or sitting outside the store until it opens again, I decide to instead give up and close the game.

Third try!

I load the game and go outside to discover the car shell is grey while the doors are red. Also the back of the shell is slightly crumpled. I decide to ignore this and start assembling the body. I install the trunk lid, and then click it to open it so I can tighten the bolts. Instead the lid with hinges attached falls off the car. I tighten the hinge bolts with the trunk conveniently laying in the driveway, but since the hinges aren’t supposed to come off, it won’t re-attach. I write this off as a glitched load and start over again.

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Third try two! Electric Boogaloo!

Load it up and the body panels match the car, and it doesn’t have prior damage. Perfect. I’m going to go buy sausages.

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Hop in the van and decide to take the other way around the lake so I can check out the repair shop. Racing down a narrow dirt track I think to myself “I’m getting the hang of this”, and promptly skid off the road and roll the van onto its roof in a pond.

Excellent.

After a long while of punching, pushing, swearing at and urinating on the van fail to upright it, I decide to walk to the repair shop in hopes that they have a tow truck I can borrow.

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Slowest. Game. Walking. Speed. Ever.

After being passed by a glacier, and nearly run over by a madman in a green car I finally arrive at the shop. It is closed, and there is no tow truck. But there is a big american sedan with flames parked out front.

If you have the means, I highly recommend it.

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I’m sure they won’t mind if I borrow that to drag a wrecked van out of a swamp.

I drive it over, hook the tow strap up and floor it, the car proceeds to slew sideways and ends up in the swamp next to the van.

What follows is another hour of driving, pushing, swearing, etc. as I try and get it unstuck and on dry land. This includes on instance of it getting traction while I’m pushing and me discovering it was still in gear as it putts away from me and gently rear-ends my van.

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I finally get the car on dry land, get a tow rope to my van, and haul it upright and onto dry land. Deciding it would be rude to leave the car behind, and take forever to drive the car back and walk back for the van I decide to tow the van behind the car as far as the repair shop.

This doesn’t go well.

Like this, except in the woods, with both cars wedged up against trees, and the van on top of the hood of the car.

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Having just wrecked a strangers car with my van while I wasn’t even behind the wheel, after already having driven that car into a swamp I decide discretion is the better part of valor and exit the game.

This game is an excellent time waster, and at this pace I expect to take my little car for its maiden drive sometime around 2020.