I’m still smashing my head against the desk.
for some reason my son, strapped into his car seat, had the keys. He locked the doors and threw the keys on the ground while my wife went to get the mail. they were able to open the door in a non fucked up manner and all is well, except for my blood pressure. i’m thinking she should send them my way so they can pick me up after I have a stroke and drop.
side note: thanks for all the help last night. I’m going to sort through all the comments and think it over some more.