First we have Margaret. She teaches 6th grade science and is not to be messed with, ever since the infamous onion incident of 1989... Her favorite bands are the Beach Boys and the Beastie Boys, and her favorite pastime is building highly-accurate scale models and blowing them up with homemade fireworks.

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Her most famous party trick is her ability to eject her eyeball at will:

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Next we have Tad Bob. He is afraid of mushrooms and Accuras. His favorite song is Africa by Toto, which he listens to on repeat for exactly three hours every day. He struggles with the suspicion that he is responsible for all of the world’s problems, which is why he now spends most of his time on Zoom meetings with his therapist, who has to repeatedly assure him that he did not cause coronavirus. Mysteriously, he has no recollection of the infamous onion incident of 1989, and believes it may have been a conspiracy. Someone should probably check on him...

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Next is Tad Bob’s sister, Clarice Bob. She fears nothing, and is rumored to be the root cause of the infamous onion incident of 1989. She is friendly but easily angered, and leaves a trail of destruction behind her in most relationships. She also has a strange obsession with llamas, which she prefers over other cars. Her favorite songs are “Du Hast” and “Careless Whisper”.

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Next is Jiminy Billy Bob, who is mute. He wasn’t always this way, and his muteness is believed to have something to do with the infamous onion incident of 1989. His favorite band is Journey, and his favorite pastime is baking muffins alone in the woods. It has long been rumored that he and Clarice Bob love each other, but he’s never confirmed this, and frankly we’re too scared to ask Clarice Bob.

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Next up is Tyrone Jones. He was once the most popular car of the group, until the infamous onion incident of 1989, after which he mysteriously disappeared for seven years. When he was finally found again, he was passed out in the middle of an abandoned quarry. Officials tried to ask him what had happened, but the only answer they could get out of him was “In Atlantis, no one can hear you scream.” Now, he has mostly managed to return to a normal life, although he still occasionally hides in a corner while sobbing and reciting the lyrics to “Rock the Casbah”.

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Next is Dale Oatbarley, a world-renowned goat expert who was once known for his thick Texan accent, but mysteriously lost it after the infamous onion incident of 1989, now speaking in a thick French accent. His favorite pastime is building forts out of hay and playing with his goats in them, although recently he has begun to develop an interest in wine, escargot, croissants, and the Eiffel Tower. His favorite song was once “Sweet Home Alabama”, but lately he seems to prefer “Ça c’est vraiment toi” by Telephone.

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Next is Rachel. She is widely agreed to be one of the prettiest cars in town, and she has dated many of the other popular cars in town before, but now she insists that she is in a serious long-distance relationship with a very sweet, red Chevy Cruze named Geoff. Good for her, I guess! She was once known for struggling in almost all of her classes, but after the infamous onion incident of 1989, she somehow became an absolute wizard at math. She can solve equations like nobody’s business, and now she aspires to be a professional mathematician.

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And finally, we have κινητήρας τριγώνου, or Kinitíras Trigónou. She identifies as a raven trapped in a car’s body, and she terrifies the other cars. The only car who isn’t intimidated by Kini (as her friends like to call her) is Clarice Bob, and the two are bitter rivals. While she may or may not have been the direct cause of the infamous onion incident of 1989, she almost certainly had something to do with it. She has often been seen muttering incantations while driving erratically, and some say you can see plants wither in her presence. Rumor has it she once tried to put a spell on Margaret, but it was deflected by one of Margaret’s fireworks, and Clarice Bob pinned her down before she could try again. Her favorite song is “Harvester of Eyes” by Blue Oyster Cult, and we don’t want to know what her favorite pastime is.

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And lastly, there’s Carrie. She was conceived in the infamous onion incident of 1989. No one knows who her parents were, but she was adopted by Margaret and her upbringing was a bit of a group effort among most of the cars, except Kini, who is afraid of her for some unknown reason. Right from the start, she was known for her lightning-fast reflexes, and several strange abilities, such as the ability to talk to motorcycles. Her favorite band is Parliament Funkadelic, and her favorite pastime is working as a private detective.

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