As a non-parent, I don't know what's so hard about these child seat restraints, but something about them must be difficult.

"Two children, a minivan, and pasty skin"

(rips envelope open, pulls out question)

"The recipe for two counts each of first-degree criminal mistreatment, recklessly endangering another, first-degree child neglect and one count of driving while suspended."

Portland, OR – A 23-year-old nanny is accused of leaving two children, a 3-year-old boy and a 2-month-old girl, inside a vehicle on a 90-degree day, police said.


Police were called to the scene because people had reported two children in a car, sweating and screaming. As the police arrived and opened the door as the police removed the first child, she came out of the salon, and removed the second child and went back into the salon.

Not only is she a bad nanny, she's also stupid. This is the first excuse she gave.

Jones told police that she was the nanny for the children and "initially claimed that she left the children with their mother in the car," court documents state.


She eventually fessed up and said she lied about the mother being there you know, because scared. Maybe stupid.

There is still no word on how she ended up in a wheelchair between arrest and arraignment.

She plead "Not Guilty"

*I read this as "Hot Nanny Leaves Kids in Car." The brain reads what it wants to I suppose.


EDIT - After checking out the comments in the Jezebel article (per Hermann - Fantasy WRC Champion's recommendation) I found this assortment of images that looked like a page from a sorority yearbook..

Although it wasn't a sorority yearbook.

The above images are Kristin Marie Jones' mugshots over the lats two years.


  1. Kristin Marie Jones booked on 6/27/2014
  2. Kristin Marie Jones booked on 12/09/2013
  3. Kristin Marie Jones booked on 11/13/2013
  4. Kristin Marie Jones booked on 10/18/2013
  5. Kristin Marie Jones booked on 10/09/2013
  6. Kristin Marie Jones booked on 5/16/2013
  7. Kristin Marie Jones booked on 1/22/2013
  8. Kristin Marie Jones booked on 12/12/2012
  9. Kristin Marie Jones booked on 8/17/2012
  10. Kristin Marie Jones booked on 1/08/2012

Of these 19 past arrests (#2-10) There are only two mentions of driving on suspended/revoked. The rest are all various types of Driving Under The Influence of an Intoxicant. (doesn't specify alcohol or drugs)


Who the fuck hires someone to watch their kids (the articles say "nanny" not "babysitter") and doesn't even ask if they have a license, or if they've ever been arrested?