Illustration for article titled NASA and JPL are a bunch of cold-hearted SOBs: Juno is on a suicide mission!

So ... what do you think should be the reward for traveling more than a billion miles through the Solar System, leaving behind friends and family and expanding the knowledge of the Human Race? A big “FUCK YOU!” and a fiery death in a planet far away, that’s what! The bastards at JPL intended for Juno’s mission to be a one-way trip all along! What about the little probes back home, waiting for Mommy to come back? Screw ‘em says NASA! No return trip, no parade ... no nothing! Oh sure the meat-sacks get life support systems, special meals and medals. The probes do all the freakin’ work - ask the Mars Rovers! Will they shut her down before entry into the Jovian atmosphere? Nope “we want to see what we can while Juno screams in binary all the way down”. That is some cold-ass shit. Murderous scientists - go to Hell!

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