*If you count immediate family who doesn’t live with me.

My father-in-law bought a new-to-him “Suburban” as he wore out his second white ‘04 Denali at around 300,000 miles. He’d been driving the same thing, two different examples, for as long as I’ve known him (since 2005). “Moby” he called it, because yeah, it’s huge and white. So finally, he got a newer (black) one because it was the right price and options, and just over 100,000 miles. Except it’s a Cadillac. I was hoping he’d get one that I could have (buy) when he moves into a smaller vehicle in another 2-3 years, according to him. But I’m not sure I could see myself driving a 6,000lb Cadillac around my small town. It’s just... too much. Have you seen the RCR on the Escalade? It’s not complimentary, nor is it wrong. TL/DR - it just screams Ballin’ on a Budget.

He is going to scrap the 22" chrome wheels and put on the set of nice BBS 17's he had on the old one, and the next one after that. He’s got another old set of stock Denali wheels for snow tires. I could probably tone down the in-your-face chrome on the grille, but still, it’s hard to hide that Cadillac facade. I’d feel like I’m in a Ludacris video but I’m a skinny red-haired dad in rural New Hampshire.

At the same time, while these were pretty bling-bling when they came out, I feel like they do kind of blend in with the rest of the giant-SUV options these days, and really, they look almost identical to their plebian counterparts... because they are almost identical. We’ll see what condition it’s in when he’s done with it. Maybe the price will be right. Maybe I’ll just get a Suburban anyway, because it’s not like they’re rare.