$48 later, Jolene the Sunbird has a new right rear tire.
The shop prorated this one for me as sort of an in-house “road hazard” warranty since I’ve been a customer there for 10+ years. And, my grandad was their customer for decades before me. The tire itself with my discount was $18.50. Only thing is these 14-inchers are only gonna become more difficult to source as time goes on.