Thanks to agrajag (sorry if I butchered it) I was inspired to make a walking stick for my wife. We chopped off a maple branch in the front yard that was hanging over the house, and one chunk of it ended up as a walking stick and a little billy club.
I whittled away all the bark, and let it dry. Then, I burned all the knots where branches used to connect. I then brushed some IKEA butcher block sealant over it (all I had handy for wood finishing).
I also drilled a hole, bought some khaki paracord, and made her a cool handle as well - first time braiding, love how it turned out. Last thing we’ll need to do is to buy a brass cane cap, once I make it that far south (only store that has it in town is 45 blocks south of us).
Before I did this, I practiced on another leftover chunk and I made me a rent collector named Billy, Billy the Club. Same exact process, but on this one I added some 8 gauge copper grounding wire.
Now it’s just the right weight. I’m thinking about keeping it in the Tundra as a “oh shit” tool. Not quite Lucille with barb wire cool, but I love the look.