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NFL Open Thread

UPDATE: Crap crap crap. Chris Harris Jr. suffered a broken fibula. At least the Broncos won a game they were supposed to win. That Jets-Titans game was really good, and the Raiders kept up with the Chiefs somehow. Interesting day.


I love this guy’s videos. “GRIMBLE!! WHY THE FUCK DO YOU FUMBLE THERE!?”

*raises hand* Ooh, ooh, I know!! WILL PARKS.

That game last weekend nearly gave me a stroke. One thing that has bothered me all my life is that for some reason, fake FGs and punts ALWAYS work when they’re run against the Broncos. I can’t remember a single time they’ve stopped a fake. When the Steelers were lined up for that FG I was in my kitchen and I actually said out loud to myself before the snap “Broncos better watch for the fake”. If I, a 43-year-old guy who’s never once played football, can see it coming then why can’t professionals who’ve spent all their lives playing this game see it? The Steelers do this a LOT, too. At least it didn’t end up hurting them this time.


This week they have to play an early game on the road in Cincy against the Bengals, pictured here at a recent practice:

Illustration for article titled NFL Open Thread

I think the Turkish phrase translates to “Who’s Jeff Driskel?” Andy Dalton is out for the year now, but he was playing pretty bad the last few weeks anyway. They at least have the advantage of playing a QB where there’s almost no tape for opponents to study. Also, they get AJ Green back. I don’t think it will help them that much. My gut is telling me the Broncos take them seriously (unlike the Jets game) and win. If they don’t, they have no shot at the playoffs. I mean, mathematically they’d still be in it but if they can’t beat a wounded Bengals team without their starting QB, why would anyone think they can beat the Browns who are clearly a better team than the Bengals, or the Chargers again in week 17? I sure wouldn’t.

That game is our only CBS game here in Denver. We do get two games over on Fox. Rams at Lions early, followed by Vikings at Patriots. There’s no way the Lions should beat the Rams, but they did beat the Pats. Holy crap, I hope the Vikings upset the Pats. (They won’t.) I’m looking forward to SNF. Chargers at Steelers. I think the Broncos will be helped more if the Steelers lose, so I guess I hope the Chargers win? MNF is Redskins at Eagles, and I don’t care much about that one.


The others:

Ravens at Falcons - I think the Falcons lose another one and probably a couple more.


Cardinals at Packers - I wonder if they should just sit Rodgers for the rest of the year. I doubt they’re going to make the playoffs. They’ll probably knock off the Cards today, though.

Bills at Dolphins - I hope the Bills knock off the Fins, we could use the help over here.


Bears at Giants - Blue team wins. I got nothin’.

Panthers at Bucs - Which Jameis Winston shows up? Pick-throwin’-Jameis or Slightly-above-average-Jameis?


Colts at Jags - Colts. Wow, Blake Bortles is bad.

Browns at Texans - I wish we were getting this one. Should be a good game.

Jets at Titans - ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Chiefs at Raiders - Wow, the whole Kareem Hunt thing happened so fast. Good thing he’s on the exempt list or the Redskins would probably break their ankles rushing to sign him right away. I wonder if Le’Veon Bell ends up in KC next year. Anyway, they will still crush the Raiders.


49ers at Seahawks - Is anyone outside of these two cities being forced to watch this game? Just curious. I mean, the Seahawks are fine but this game is probably going to be a stinker.

Happy football to all! I’ll be doing a mountain of laundry while I watch the games today. Can’t go to work naked! At least, they asked me not to after the last time.

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